by Tommy Haws
Money and You. This is the title of the column that we write, but sometimes the meaning does not come through. When we came up with the name, it was meant to show that there are ways to interact with money that are appropriate. We have also talked about ways that the relationship might not be appropriate. And that is the key word I want to emphasize this month: relationship.
We often think of relationships between people; there are relationships to many other things, too. It is what it all represents that is the most important.
There are two types of people in this world. Those that ACT and those that are ACTED UPON. Those that act will always have the upper hand to those who are only reactionary and wait to have consequences dictate their life. I have tried to make those distinctions with my children. Sometimes they do not get it – but there are trying.
We talk often about how we all have the power to choose in life. But some choices will limit our ability to choose in the future. Take, for instance, addictions. A person has the freedom to choose to partake of some potentially damaging, but powerful substances in order to get a short-term pleasure from it. A person who makes the choice to do a damaging drug might find the freedom that they love so much severely limited to the point that they no longer have the capacity to ACT, but are now being ACTED UPON by the addiction to a substance, the enforcement of applicable laws if the drug is illegal, etc. The choice led to a limitation of future choices, somewhat like painting yourself into a corner. The once loved freedom is then replaced by pain, sometimes severe restrictions, loss of money, career choices, etc. They no longer have the ability to act, and are acted upon by chemicals, laws and dire consequences.
With money it can be much the same way. Money represents power in our society. Sometimes this is a good thing if it is used to act in a way that continues to provide the ability to keep or obtain the wants and needs we all have. However, some choices will entrap us in a situation where there might be more to worry about. For instance, the choice to spend more than we make will lead to uncontrollable indebtedness that will limit the choices we can make because we are now being Acted Upon by other forces. It felt good for a while to run up the credit cards and buy things that were out of the budget, but it was like getting painted into a corner.
I was talking to a man the other day that dropped into that situation. He came up short one month with his funds and decided to go into debt to get through it. This debt was rolled over and over until at one point, he was not only out of money for the month but had a string of collectors trying to get to him. The problem got to the point that he was unable to help any of his family like he wanted to with funds because he had lost it all and now his was severely limited in his funding. Money for food and transportation were even gone because of what he needed to do to keep them off his back. It was gone, and so was his ability to act.
Since money is a tool, we need to decide if we will use it or if it will use us. The choice is ours. Act well, and our choices are enhanced. Act poorly and we lose the ability to choose for ourselves, at the worst, and at the least, our choices become very limited.
